You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Its about making memories worth repressing
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
