is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
