she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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