I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
