Porn is love you can see.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
