i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
