I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
