my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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