So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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