yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just had sex on a roof
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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