dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
