You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
