I don't think brook has ever known best
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
