Pappa wants mamma naked
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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