What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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