I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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