U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
