Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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