did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
