he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
