Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
