So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
