they need to just BURY HIM!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
