YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
