I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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