Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
