I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
