Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
