these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
