i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
