really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
