I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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