Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I supernannyed him into submission
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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