I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
