wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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