Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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