All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
