Ambien. No doubt about it.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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