I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
