she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
