Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
