Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
