it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
