My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
