4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
