i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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