ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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