You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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