god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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