3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
